You know what I mean when you hear those words ” we’ll make a cheeky offer”….
A Place in the Sun – Budgeting for Beginners (…or not)
Narrator :
Welcome back, folks! Today we’re house-hunting with Duncan and Sharon from Stoke, who have a whopping budget of £70,000, with an extra £2,500 wiggle room—but only if the house comes with a free jet-ski and someone to water the geraniums.
They’re looking for:
• 3 bedrooms
• 2 bathrooms
• Sea views (“not just glimpses, but actual, postcard, dolphins-jumping views”)
• Private garden
• Swimming pool (“ideally heated, ideally infinity, ideally maintained by the neighbour for free”)
• Walking distance to shops, bars, beaches, mountains, and possibly the Vatican
• And if it could be new build but also full of rustic character, that’d be perfect.
Property 1 – £150,000
Host:
“Now this one is slightly over budget—by eighty grand—but it does tick most of your boxes.”
Duncan:
“Hm, yes… the rooms are a bit small.”
Sharon:
“And the sea view… well, you can only see it clearly if you lean out of the upstairs window with binoculars.”
Host:
“Yes, that’s called a sea glimpse. It’s still very popular.”
Duncan:
“Well… it needs a few things updating anyway.”
Sharon:
“Oh definitely. That tile there is looking at me funny.”
Host:
“So… would you like to make an offer?”
Duncan and Sharon (in unison, bright-eyed):
“YES. We’ll start with a cheeky offer!”
Host (bracing):
“…And what would that be?”
Duncan:
“Well, since the asking price is £150,000… and it needs a lick of paint… and we’re cash buyers…”
Sharon:
“…and we’d want all the furniture included—oh, and the patio set, and the barbecue…”
Duncan:
“…we were thinking of offering… £99,000.”
Host:
“Right. Let me just… ring the owner and warn them in advance so they don’t faint.”
________________________________________
Later…
Host:
“I’m afraid the owner has declined your offer.”
Sharon:
“Really? Even though we’re cash buyers?”
Host:
“Yes. Even though you’re cash buyers.”
Duncan:
“Well, their loss. We’ll find something better.”
Narrator :
Yes, Duncan. Yes, you will. Possibly in 1983, when house prices were different, expectations were lower, and the term “cheeky offer” did not mean “60 grand off and throw in your patio furniture.”
