Category: Funnies

You can spot them a mile off — the legendary EasyJet Tradesmen. They’re the blokes who left the UK as Darren Who Once Put Up a Billy Bookcase, and landed in Alicante three hours later as Darren, Fully Qualified Master Builder, Plumber, Electrician, Roofer, Landscaper, Dog Whisperer, and Occasional DJ….

Take a stroll down any seaside promenade in Spain — Torremolinos, Benidorm, Torrevieja, Guardamar, wherever the sunburnt Brits gather — and you’ll see them. The lads with the magic sheets. Trainers, handbags, belts, sunglasses, Bluetooth speakers that only play at dog-whistle volume… if it can be knock-off’d, they’ve got it….

Back in the UK, your mate Darren is sitting in his semi-detached in Sheffield wearing three jumpers, a bobble hat, and fingerless gloves like he’s starring in a Victorian Christmas special. He’s got the heating on “low” because the electric bill has just arrived and it looks like a ransom…

Spanish councils pour love, money, irrigation systems, mood lighting, and a small rainforest into every roundabout… meanwhile the potholes are so deep you could lose a small dog in them. Every drive becomes a slalom course worthy of the Winter Olympics, but by god — that roundabout looks fabulous. Spain…

Picture this: a British expat strolling into one of those overseas shops in Spain — the ones that proudly stock every familiar British brand you swore you didn’t miss until you saw it again. They’re wandering the aisles feeling smug because they’ve just popped into the local Spanish supermarket next…

There’s a special kind of rage that only expats in Spain truly understand — the moment you check your tracking app, after sitting at home all day like a prisoner awaiting parole, only to see the dreaded words: “Delivery attempted. No one home.” Oh really? Really? That’s fascinating, because not…

You pop to the supermarket for bread. Simple. Five minutes, in and out, job done. But no. You forgot this is Spain. The señora in front of you at the checkout isn’t just paying. She’s hosting a full reunion with the cashier. They’re laughing. They’re discussing the weather, their children,…

There’s a special type of madness that only people living in Spain truly understand — that moment in winter when it’s actually warmer outside than it is inside your own house. You step outdoors and think, “Lovely, feels like a nice mild spring day.” You step back indoors and immediately…

(This is about Dressing For The Season, as the Spanish tend to do.) Right, picture this: it’s 23rd November in Spain. The sun is out, the sky’s blue, and every tourist within a 10-mile radius is strutting around like they’re on the Costa del Flamingo in peak August. Meanwhile, the…