Table of Contents
Slight confession here, for my 30th we went to a hotel and 3 of us one evening decided to remove over 30 towels and dumped them in the main pool.
๐๐ผ๐น๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐๐บ๐ฝ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐ โ ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ป๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฟ๐
AKA **๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐๐ป๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ข๐ณ ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐๐ป๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐.**
Every hotel has them.
๐๐ก๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ญ๐๐ฅ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐๐ก๐ฎ๐ซ๐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ๐๐:
๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฌ
๐๐ฐ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐จ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฌ
๐๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐
What the brochure failed to mention was:
Approximately 60 sunbeds.
Shared between 480 rooms.
๐๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ต๐ผ๐น๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐, ๐๐ผ๐’๐๐ฒ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ผ๐ฏ๐๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ป๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ ๐น๐ฒ๐๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ผ๐น๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐บ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ข๐น๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ป๐.
The pool gates open at 7am.
You arrive at 6am.
You’re still 45th in the queue.
๐๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐ผ๐’๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ.
Alarm set for 5:15am.
At the pool gates by 5:30am.
Only ten people ahead of you.
Result.
Or so you think.
Then you notice something odd.
Every person in front of you appears to be carrying:
Five towels.
Six towels.
In one case what looks like enough towels to supply a small hotel.
At precisely 7am the gates open.
And what follows can only be described as:
**๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐๐ป๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ข๐ณ ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐๐ป๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐.**
It’s like Tesco on Black Friday.
People sprinting.
People diving.
People launching towels across the pool area with military precision.
Within 90 seconds every available bed has been claimed.
Some by people who won’t actually appear until lunchtime.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ฑ.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐ฒ๐ป๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต.
You leave the nightclub at 3am.
She heads back to the room.
You are dispatched to sleep outside the pool gate.
Like some sort of holiday security guard.
At around 4:30am you’re woken by a group of Germans returning from a night out.
They stroll into reception.
Slip the receptionist a โฌ50 note.
And casually announce:
> “We’re back for another week. Our usual 12 sunbeds near the bar please.”
Suddenly it all makes sense.
The reserved sunbeds.
The same faces every day.
The prime locations.
The mysterious availability.
๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ด๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฒ๐ณ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐.
๐ง๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ด๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ฝ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด.
By the end of the holiday you’ve learned one important lesson:
You didn’t book a package holiday.
You accidentally entered a seven-day competitive sunbed tournament.
Be honest…
What’s the earliest you’ve ever got up to secure a sunbed on holiday?
๐๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ง๐จ๐ฐ, ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฐ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐จ๐จ๐ฅ?
