Category: Funnies

There are accidents. There are unfortunate coincidences. And then there’s going on a programme literally designed to make you buy a property abroad… and being absolutely outraged when you do exactly that. This week’s headline belongs firmly in the British Logic Hall of Fame: 𝘼 𝙋𝒍𝙖𝒄𝙚 𝙄𝒏 𝑻𝙝𝒆 𝑺𝙪𝒏: “𝑾𝙚…

Happy New Year! Yes, The Toll Roads Are More Expensive Too Because of course they are. Nothing says “Welcome to the New Year” quite like discovering that while you were busy finishing the last of the turrón, Spain quietly put the toll road prices up as well. From January 1st,…

Every January, the same conversation happens in expat circles across Spain. “This year,” someone announces, usually on January 1st around 10:14am, “I’m doing Dry January.” Nods follow. Supportive murmurs. Someone says, “Good for you.”Nobody actually believes it. Because Dry January in Spain is… ambitious. Take Bob. Bob starts strong. He’s…

AKA The Great Expat New Year Resolution Delusion Every January 1st, without fail, the British expats of Spain wake up filled with hope, optimism, and a dangerous amount of confidence. “This is the year,” they say, clutching a coffee like it’s a legally binding contract.“This is the year I learn…

(Or: Choose Your Winter Struggle) Winter in Spain does something strange to British expats. It turns us into part-time heating engineers with very strong opinions. At some point — usually around your third cold evening indoors wearing a hat — you find yourself drawn into The Great Stove Debate. Pellet…

It always starts the same way. A viewing trip in May. Blue skies. Birds singing. The estate agent smiling like they’ve personally arranged the weather. You fall in love with a “quaint” finca just outside a lovely Spanish village. Thick walls. Rustic charm. Original features. Character. Lots of character. Nobody…

Every December, Spain collectively loses its mind over El Gordo — the “Fat One.” Not a person. Not a pig. A lottery. And not just any lottery — the lottery. The one that turns otherwise sensible adults into wide-eyed gamblers clutching paper tickets like Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket. From about…

Every year. Every single year. Welcome to The Great British Spanish Christmas Panic Shop, where Expats stock up like crazy. You’d think the supermarkets were closing for a fortnight and the country was bracing for a mild apocalypse. It’s the 22nd of December, Spain is shutting down for one whole…

New Year’s Eve in Spain isn’t about fireworks, or champagne, or pretending next year will be “the year you really get fit.” No. It’s about grapes. Twelve of them. And eating them like your life depends on it. At midnight, the entire country stands poised in front of the TV,…